One of the things I have discovered on my self-love journey is that true happiness and confidence are 100% guaranteed, once you discover what really makes you tick.  All the power needed to bring true happiness is right inside of you and has always been. The trick in doing so is to learn to listen and connect to your inner voice, to live in the present moment and take action on the things that bring joy to your soul.

We live in a fast-paced world and it’s so easy to get lost in the humdrum of every-day life, living each day following a path we feel we should, to conform with societies expectations. We work long hours to pay our household bills, childcare costs, and barely have time for any self-care or for family fun. 

We book in two to three weeks holiday a year in the summer, and a few days during Christmas to spend some quality time with those we love, and accept that this is how life should be.  But does it make you happy?  Does it make you want to jump out of bed with a spring in your step each morning?  I doubt it.

I was bought up to work hard, earn my keep, provide for my family, and to respect my elders. I lived on a council estate and both my parents worked two jobs to keep a roof over our heads, my mum worked in a local shop during the day and my dad was a long distance lorry driver, they both worked in a local club of an evening and at weekends, and through my early years I grew up surrounded in this environment.

They did this to provide for me, my brother and sister and to provide us with all we needed, but it didn’t make them happy, they fought over Money, lack of each-others company, and even though they worked as much as they could they still had to borrow and take out loans just to live. All their hard work didn’t make us happy either, we worried when we heard them argue, when they thought we were tucked up fast asleep, and this bought fear and worry for us children.

Eventually my mum turned to drink to forget her worries and my parents split.  All their hard work to provide a loving caring home for their children brought them nothing but unhappiness.

Don’t get me wrong we did have plenty of fun times too and made some amazing family memories but not as many as we should or could have had and certainly not enough for all they tried to do.

When I started my family at just 18, I followed the path of my parents working as much as possible to provide for my family, My husband worked nights and I worked days,  I even followed the path my mum took job wise,  working in the bar at the bingo hall,  the manager of the bakers, and selling underwear to friends from a catalogue.  But in 2016 my mum passed of cancer, she had lived her life working just to pay the bills and provide for her family. I know her family made her happy but what had she truly done for herself, the things that set her soul on fire with passion?

I vowed to stop living this humdrum life, and to start living for me. Sounds selfish doesn’t it? But what I learnt from my parents was that no matter how much they loved us children their happiness was paramount in bringing happiness into our home, and taking time for yourself is the most selfless act you can ever do, as without taking time to fill your own cup, you cannot help to fill the cups of those you love and care about.

So I guess I am saying take time for you, figure out what it is that sets your soul on fire, Be selfish in your pursuit for happiness.  Put yourself before others and surround yourself with people who inspire and make you the happiest that you can be.  Don’t settle for second best because you are worth so much more, and chase those dreams, they are there to be lived, and if they frighten you. all the better as you will only grow in pursuing them.

A great way to really understand what makes you tick is meditation, take time to focus on the quiet, to listen to your inner voice, get to know your gifts talents and dreams and put yourself in the drivers seat of your happiness and success.