Enhance the Emotional Intimacy in Your Relationship and See it Thrive

Emotional intimacy is a closeness that goes beyond the ordinary fondness felt for friends and family. And your current degree of intimacy is an excellent window for evaluating the health of your current relationships.

So why is intimacy something so many of us struggle with day to day?

Most of us associate intimacy as a physical experience, but intimacy also depends on our mental and emotional well-being.

Emotional intimacy refers to a feeling of closeness to another person. An emotionally intimate relationship is founded on trust and compassion. Past experiences, if not healthy, can cause intimacy avoidance, which in turn will mean you may have some difficulties in forming close relationships with others.

Past relationship traumas, childhood conditioning, and what we see and hear though media can all play a huge part in how we show and receive intimacy.

It’s difficult to have a good relationship with poor emotional intimacy or a poor relationship with a high degree of emotional intimacy.

If emotional intimacy is something you struggle with here are a few of my top tips in growing and strengthening those bonds with loved ones.

  1. Create a safe container. Whether you have had to deal with a lack of intimacy due to past trauma, or you are a busy mum with no time to spare, creating a safe container to explore intimacy is a must. Personally, I would create this container as a safe space for myself, and once ready invite my partner to join me in that container. Carving out precious time for me to be able to explore my own emotional needs freely.
  • Let go of your past. Most of the obstacles to being more intimately connected are rooted in the past, like I stated above these may come from childhood conditioning, past sexual trauma, or maybe a lack of trust has been created in your current relationship. If the latter is the case, aim to take each new day as a fresh opportunity to build back the trust that is lost. Or use your safe container to work on any triggers, keeping a connection to the present rather than the past.
  • Share your appreciation for each other. Before turning off the light for the night, share what you each appreciate about each other. List something you appreciated that day, that your partner did. It could be something small like folding the laundry or stopping by the shop for milk. You’ll be amazed by what happens. You’ll spend the day looking for things to appreciate about your partner. You’ll eventually think that your partner has changed into an even more amazing person. But the truth is that you’re the one who’s changed.
  • Touch each other daily. Sex counts, but focus on other types of touch, too. Give each other a massage or snuggle together on the couch. Hold hands.

And lastly;

  • Be a better listener. We adore the people in our lives who take the time to listen intently to what we have to say. Look you partner in the eye when they’re speaking to you. Listen fully without interruption or judgement. This truly is a game changer!