Are you just like me? Or rather how I used to be? Do you feel guilty when you think about taking time out for yourself? You desperately need to get some new clothes but there’s just no time to go shopping, and even if you did feel like you could take those couple of hours for yourself there are too many other things the money should be spent on. You’re tired and you need an early night but you’ve said you will help friends to paint their new house, it would be wrong to cancel, after all they are relying on you, so you go anyway. You have that time off from work booked and you desperately need it so that you can regroup and reenergise, but you cancel because work gets busy.  

Even just 5 minutes to sit down and relax with a hot cup of tea feels like an impossible task, there is housework to be done and your family to look after and they should come first, right??

If you don’t get everything done and look after everyone else and their needs, then who else is going to do it? We have all been there and felt like this at some point. But should we just accept that this is the way things are going to be? Is this really the best way for us to be living our lives?

What if we never make a change?

Trust me, I know what this feels like. I have been that friend, always saying yes and always turning up to support and help out but never wanting to ask for help myself. I was there painting my friends houses when actually my own house seriously needed a new lick of paint put I put it off and then I put it off some more so I could go help other people. I have been the girl always wanting to make sure that my house is neat and tidy for when friends came to visit so they didn’t think that I wasn’t in control of things. I have been there always offering a shoulder to cry on, when I actually I needed a bit of support myself but felt like I shouldn’t ask for it as others were struggling more.

I was the one who desperately needed to take some time out for myself to recharge my own batteries, but instead I was running around after others making sure that they could get some down time. Sometimes we have to learn to say no. We have to learn that putting ourselves first is not selfish or wrong, and quite frankly we have every right to make ourselves a priority.

It’s been a hard lesson to learn but one that I have eventually had to accept.

If you don’t take some time out for yourself, if you don’t make yourself a priority, if you don’t invest in selfcare then at some point you will burn out. And if that happens you are no help to anyone. It’s true what they say “You can’t give from an empty cup”. That means that you have to take time to do the things that you love and enjoy, even if that is only every once in a while. You have to do something that is just for you, something that makes you smile, something that makes you laugh, something that ignites your passion and reminds you what you love about life.

5 ways to add selfcare to your routine.

At some point selfcare has to become a priority to ensure you can look after your own mental and physical health and keep supporting those around you. Here are 5 simple ways that you can introduce selfcare into your routine:

  1. Spend 5 minutes each morning meditating before you start your day – this can be as simple as sitting still in a quiet area with your eyes closed and just breathing deeply.
  2. Go outside and get some fresh air – just a short walk outside can do wonders for you physical and mental health.
  3. Take a soak in the bath and read a book – this one always feels like a real luxury to me and I always feel so much better for it.
  4. Take up regular exercise – this doesn’t have to be hours spent in the gym. 30 minutes of light to moderate exercise just 3 times a week will have you body flooded with happy hormones and will fill you with energy.
  5. Spend time with friends, and I don’t mean time where you are helping them. I mean time where you are just with them, laughing, having fun, making memories.

I know that it can be hard to put yourself first but in the long run if you don’t then you won’t be any use to those around you.